SURPRISE!

"His Love Endures Forever!"

Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life. Walking through the villages and seeing the poverty these families live in has been life changing. These Kids have nothing. They just sit outside and wait for someone to show them attention, and bring them food and water. Papi Pete, Brooke, Blake and I wanted to do something very special for some families in the village. Of course we can’t give things to everyone, but God placed some families on our hearts. We put together a little Christmas for these kids. We packed up backpacks and bags of toys, candy, food, coloring books, soccer balls, trucks, you name it. We all got on motorcycles and went to each of the homes. I felt like Oprah!  Our first delivery was to an older lady who has impacted my heart in so many ways this trip. She has 6 grandkids that she raises all by herself. Her own daughter and sons left her with them and everyday is a battle for her trying to provide for all of them. They didn’t even know we were coming. And when we showed up they went crazy just seeing our faces. Little did they know what we had for them. 

We went into their house and dumped out the bags of toys and candy! We yelled out, “SURPRISE!” I will never forget the sounds of those kids squealing when they saw the presents. The looks on their faces will always be in my mind. The next delivery was to the blind family. The little boy couldn’t see the presents but the smile on His face when he realized we had brought him something was amazing. I’ve never seen people so grateful in my life.  As we rode from house to house we were throwing out candy to the kids though out the village. We went to three other families and every single one of them touched my heart in so many ways.

 As we were all surprising the families and handing out the gifts I thought to myself, “How amazing will it be the day we are able to see God and receive His rewards?” These Kids faces and eyes were shining as they were looking through all the gifts. But can you even imagine the look on their faces when they see Jesus face to face. God sacrificing His only son for us is the greatest gift. His unconditional and unfailing love is the greatest reward. I know these presents will only fulfill their hearts for a little while, and what we gave them will only last so long. But I know Gods gifts last for eternity. And His love remains and endures forever. It was an amazing day! Thank you Jesus for the gift of life! I love you.

My Girls

"We our His portion and He is our prize. Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, if His grace is an ocean were all sinking...Oh How He Loves!"

Living with 40 girls has been such a blessing. After leading devotionals last night I opened up the floor to whoever wanted to share what is on their hearts, or whoever wanted to pray about anything. It’s hard trying to tell them that they can trust you when their own family abandoned or abused them. After about two minutes of silence I prayed over them and went to my room. About 5 minutes later I had a knock on my door. There were about five of the older girls lined up wanting to share their hearts to me. After hearing their amazing, life moving stories I put my hand on their head and just started asking the Lord to move like He’s never moved before. I prayed for comfort, for strength, for understanding, for love, for forgiveness and for Him to bring healing to the broken hearts. As I was praying I felt a breeze come over the girls and me, and at that moment I knew that our Father wasn’t just listening, but He was answering the prayers of my sisters, His presence filled that room.

When the girls first came to the orphanage they lived in house crammed 37 with girls. The generator and the inverter crashed. So there was no running water, no electricity, no toilets, and no air conditioning. They were told that in five months everything would be fixed. After 5 months of trying to feed, bathe, and provide for 37 girls with no power, or running water, they came to find out they would be spending another 5 months in these conditions. They could only give the girls about a cup of water to bathe in, and very little water to drink. Mommy Brenda said she would wake up to crying and screaming from the girl’s rooms. They were sick, they were thirsty and they needed air.  She would wake up and there would be a silhouette of sweat underneath them when they were sleeping. In the midst of all that pain, hunger, and thirst God never put His hand off of those girls. Even though everyday was a battle, God fought with them and carried them through everyday of their life. Through patience, prayer, and crying out to God He brought someone who turned their world around. Papi Pete came in and changed their life. He brought water to the girls to they could bathe, flush the toilets, wash their clothes and eventually He provided water for them to drink.  God used Him to rescue my sisters. God never gives you more than you can bear, and absolutely nothing is impossible for Him. He can bind up the broken lives. He brings hope to the hopeless. He brings comfort to those who suffer, and He has already conquered the battles that come our way.

Marie Joy is one of the babies in the house. Her house collapsed on here during the earthquake and she fell into a fire. The rescue team was going under the house to find corpses and they found Marie. They thought she was dead, and as they pulled her body out she started crying. She had burns all over her arm. Danita took her in after the earthquake but she was extremely traumatized. It took a while for her to smile and laugh. But God put His hand on her and worked a miracle in Marie’s life. He brought her Joy! You can see it in her eyes as she looks at you. She is an angel, and is a walking testimony of the powerful hand of Christ.

Janet is one of the older girls. Last night we sat up on the roof together as we watched the sun go down and sang, “How He loves.” Janet said, “There is nothing better than closing your eyes and worshiping God.” It was amazing hearing those words come out of her mouth after knowing what all she had been through. Janet was raped when she was four, and her dad left her, her mom and her brother when she was 8; After that her mom and her brother became very sick. She loved them more than anything in this world. She said last night, “They were the light of my life.” Her mom knew that when she would pass Janet would be left with nothing, no food, no water, and no family. Her mom said to her, “When I die, I want you to run.” That night she passed, and Janet ran all the way to Danita’s Orphanage. As I pictured Janet running that night, I saw her as if she was running into the Lords arms. He had a place for her to go before she even started running. He provided a home, a family, and just like she said last night, “The Lord has always been and will always be my Father.” We serve an amazing God! I love you Janet!

Midaline is my little angel. I have a very special place for her in my heart. God gave me the opportunity to go with Karris and Brenda the very first day we took her in.  We were the first women that she saw from the orphanage. You could see fear in her eyes, and it took a while for her to smile or look up.  That day I just kept on praying for her as I could see the pain in her eyes.  I bent down and right then she looked at me. Ever since we brought her home she will run up to me in the house and just say, “Mommy!” She has been abused and I know she still hurts, but through her smile, her hugs, and her eyes I can feel the Lord working in her binding up those wounds. She is my little angel!

Please continue to pray for the girls here in Haiti. They have taught me more than I could ever teach them. They are inspiring, they are strong, they are beautiful and the Lord presence is radiant through each and every one of them.

I love my girls! 

Let Me Guide You

 "We live by faith, not by sight."2 Corinthians 5:7

After church the other day one of the little boys ran up to me and just latched onto my leg. He said to me, “Ma Ma!” I looked down at him and noticed that he was blind.  I walked him over to his mom and realized that she was blind also. They have a little girl who’s about 4 and she’s the only one who can see. She leads her mom and her brother everywhere. I kept on wondering if she ever got lost taking her family places; and as I watched her walking them home I had a very clear vision of who God is. I heard Him say, “I will guide you home.” I saw His hand in so many ways as I was watching that beautiful family. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see the direction your going in; the only thing that matters is trusting God to take you where He wants you to go. So many times in life you will feel like the road you are on is uncertain, you will feel like your on the edge about to fall, you might feel like your headed in the complete opposite direction you wanted to go in, but you have to trust that God knows where He is going. And if you allow God to take control of your hands, your feet, and your eyes, He will take you somewhere greater than you could have ever dreamed of. Although this family can’t see where they are headed and they can’t see the beautiful things I love to look at everyday, I am certain that one day they will be able to see Jesus face to face. Even though it might have taken them a while to find their way to church that morning, they were there with their hands up, singing praises to God. Though they couldn’t see the pastor or the people around them, they could feel the Lords presence that filled the church that morning. We will be delivering gifts and food to the family today! It will be an amazing experience to be able to provide for this family. God is rewarding them, He is leading them, and He is providing for them. We serve an amazing God! Know that God will never mislead you.  Allow Him to guide you through your life. Take His hand and walk with Him, and through the journey praise Him for the path He has placed you on.

“I want you to know how safe and secure you are in My Presence. You are on your way to heaven; nothing can prevent you from reaching that destination. There you will see me face to face, and your joy will be off the charts by any earthly standards. Even now, you are never separated from Me, though you must see me through the eyes of faith. I will walk with you till the end of time, and onward into eternity.”

Im Home

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

 Coming here I knew I was about to have my world shaken up, my heart stolen, my mind blown, and my faith become deeper than it ever has been. My experience so far has reached all of those things and so much more. I prayed to God before I stepped foot through those gates. I prayed that my feelings would be Gods feelings, my thoughts His thoughts, and my words His words. And as soon as those gates opened and I saw the kids praising God, I felt the Lord say to me, “Welcome home.” It’s hard to describe how I feel here because I have nothing to compare it to. Its beyond anything I’ve ever experience, its beyond my imagination, and its more than I could have ever dreamed of or prayed for. I feel like the women here have been my older sisters my whole life, they are truly my angels send from God. And the children here, I can’t begin to even describe the beauty, the joy, the love, and the happiness they bring to me.

The other day something just didn’t feel right to me about leaving after a week. But I kept my mouth shut and just asked the Lord to do what He wants me to do. That night I got a phone call from Karris telling me that the Lord has been speaking to her heart saying, “She is worth investing in.” She really felt the Lord speaking through her about my time and my mission here, so she asked me to stay longer in Haiti. And of course I am! This is where I am supposed to be, this was a part of the perfect picture God has painted out for my life. So now I am staying in the girls house! So there will be lots of dance parties, movie nights, and late night talks. I am so blessed. Last night I went down to share a part of my heart, and pray for them. As I was walking down the stairs I could here them at the top of their lungs singing to Jesus and lifting His name up. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my life. They all have stories. Most have been abandoned. Some of them were found covered in feces, one was found in a trashcan. Two of the sisters watched their own father being murdered. This one beautiful girl was raped when she was 4 years old and her step mom would burn her all over with a hot iron.  She took a burnt spoon and would put it on her lips. Even though she has burns on her face, her mouth and her head, she is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen in my life. These girls have scars, some you can see physically, and some you cant. But they all have them in their hearts. It’s amazing to witness Gods hand at work as He heals them, and binds up their wounds.  As I prayed over all of them last night, I felt the Lords arms just holding that entire room. I heard Him say to me, “This is what I have sent you to do.

In Haiti, you don’t live for yourself you live for others. Your days aren’t filled with asking yourself, “what do I want to do today?” or “What am I going to wear, or eat or who am I going to hang out with?” But it’s, “how am I going to serve, who’s life am I going to change, who can I help…who can I bring home?” Your day is filled with giving others life. Bringing them hope, coming together in prayer, and through all of that, praising God.  Some people would come here and think I’m crazy for calling this my home. There is no air conditioning most of the time, there’s no hot showers, gourmet meals, or shopping malls, and yes, you are always sweating; but I’ve learned, its not about myself, its about God. And He is so present in Haiti. I’ve never been so close to Jesus in my life! It’s not about seeing how you can serve yourself, but its about sacrificing everything you have so you can serve others through the Lord. People are happier here, than in the states. And it’s because the only thing they run to in their life is Jesus. He is their absolute everything. He clothes them, He holds them, He provides for them, He heals them and He adores them. They have so much joy to share and they have so much to offer in this life. I’ve never been so happy. Thank you God for everything you have brought into my life... I’m home. 

"You Make Beautiful Things."

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

                                        

The Village

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles." Psalm 34:17

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life seen as much suffering and poverty than I have in the past 3 days. We went to one of the most poverty stricken villages right outside the gates of the orphanage.  I have always known and heard stories of people suffering from poverty but this was beyond my imagination. The homes are about the size of my bathroom and they are made of mud and sticks.  There is no electricity, no running water, and no food in the village. The kids are not clothed and most of them are deathly sick from malnutrition. The average Haitian eats one meal every three days, and on a good day maybe every two. As I walked through I saw some older men and women who are starving, just shriveled up with their head in their hands just waiting for their time to be up. Karris and I got to go in some of the homes. It was literally like sticking your whole body in the oven. Every time I get close to a fire or a heat wave I usually back up cause it’s hard to breath. Well that is how they live. I could barely be in one of the homes for about 3 minutes, to know that there is a family in there is mind blowing. 

We were able to give the mother (who is very sick) some formula for her baby, which was such an amazing moment. We are the Lords hands and feet and to know that we were able to provide for that family through God was incredible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to see or walk through and it broke me down and opened my eyes in every way possible, but I kept on singing to God as I was holding the kids hands, and looking into their eyes, “Nothing is impossible for you, you hold the world in your hands.” God has the power to heal the sick, help the blind, give to the poor, and make beautiful things out of suffering, and I know that His hand is at work through it all.

Last night when I got back to my hotel in Dajabon, I had no air conditioning, my fan broke and I was soaked in sweat. I had to change my clothes about three times. But in that moment I was grateful. I was grateful that at least I had a roof over my head; at least I have a family who is healthy and who is there for me. At least I have water to drink and food to eat. And even though I was sick during the night I had tons of medicine with me and eventually it went away. These children don’t have any of those things. No clothes, no food, no water, and most of them have very sick parents.  And when these babies and families are sick, they have nothing to heal them other than God. It makes your heartbreak but it makes you thank God even more for the little things in life. Although our lives are very different and I can’t even begin to know what a full day is like in the village, I know that one thing remains the same; that is our love for Jesus Christ. 

We are all one family, we much to be willing for hurt for each other, pray for each other, fight for each other, and provide for one another. And through all of that, we must give thanks and praise to our heavenly Father.  I am forever changed.

He knows My Cam!

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

This morning at devotionals I was asked if I had a God moment yesterday. I feel like I have one with every single child I interact with. But one particular boy stood out to me, Johnny. He always comes up to me right when I walk through the gate in the morning. He always looks at me and just grins from ear to ear. Yesterday I sat down with him and showed Him a picture of my sisters and me. He pointed straight to Cam, and He had a confused look on His face. I said, “That’s my twin Cameron.” He grabbed the picture out of my hand and just started staring at Cam’s face. At that moment I wanted to know His story. Where he came from, what he’s been through, and how God has worked in His life. Later that day Karris and I were with Johnny and she started to tell me His story. He was rescued from Port-au-Prince after the earthquake. His mom was bathing Johnny when it hit and ran out of the house. His twin brother however, didn’t make it. Johnny remembers everything that happened that day. My heart broke at that moment. I understood why we bonded so well after he knew that I was a twin. All we did was look at each other and hold hands, but I understood a deeper part of him and he understood a deeper part of me. He knows what its like to have the closest relationship you could ever have with someone. He understands the love between Cam and me.  She completes a lot of who I am. She has never left my side, and being away for six weeks has been one of the most challenging changes I’ve had to deal with. I literally could never picture living my life without her, and to know that Jimmy lost His other half breaks my heart. I said to the group today, “I was able to embrace him and the hurt he must feel because I share that same love he had with his twin brother with cam, and it is the strongest love in the world. “

I miss you Camy, I know God changed your world in Haiti, and now He’s changing mine. Not a minute goes by without you in my thoughts and prayers. You are loved deeply, by God, the Kids, and Me! I am more than proud of you and what you have accomplished for the Lord. I love you more than you can imagine.
After hearing Johnny’s story I looked around the orphanage and just watched the kids playing and laughing. I thought to myself, “Everyone of these Kids have a story.” They have all been hurt in some way. Whether it’s from being abandoned, being found after the earthquake, being rescued, being sick, or being abused, each child is here for a reason. I can see Christ in every single one of them and I know that He heals, He comforts, and He loves His children.  I am beyond blessed to me here.